My beloved grandmother is diagnosed with aggressive cancer :'((((((((((((((......( crying..... ) Aggressive in terms of.... the tumour can be found everywhere in the body and will spread fast, VERY FAST TOO FAST :'( my grandmother has " tumours " in her brain, breast, bones, virgina, stomach, shoulder.... ya allah ya tuhan ku...... :'(((((((((((((((((((((( i cannot believe this and my nenek is already at STAGE 4 WHICH IS THE ADVANCE STAGE WHICH MEANS SHE'S LEFT WITH ONE MONTH TO LIVE. EVEN CHEMOTHERAPY WILL NOT CREATE A FUCKING MIRACLE. Astaghfiruaallah... ya allah..... aku tak percaya aku tak percaya aku tak percaya! Ya allah subahan allah ya allah........aku kena banyak istighfar dan redah. She's the only grandmother i am left with and i wanted her to live till the day i get married. i am her first precious cucu and she's the greatest person i've met so far, she means so much to me! why are you being so unfair to such a good person??? i cannot bear to see her suffer :'( she even read yassin for herself to prepare for death????? ya allah..............i cannot accept the fact and what the fuck are the docters doing sial. they cannot even detect the tumours during stage one?????????? how am i suppose to make her feel better? kalau aku kehilangan nenek aku..... confirm aku akan break down and lose myself in my tears. Please don't make me believe that she's only left with a month docter, you can kiss my ass because you're fucking useless. astaghfiruaallah no no no this is all takdir. aku nak jadi gila ni sekarang no one knows how i try to hide my feelings. this problem merobek jantung aku sampai aku yang rasa aku nak mati. nenek i love you so much. please don't leave too soon. i still need your kisses and sambal goreng :( ya allah kau panjangkan lah umur nenek aku ya allah ya tuhan ku tolong lah kuatkan semangat nenek aku ya allah kesian kan lah dia ya allah maafkan la dosa dia ya allah....... :'(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( sayu nya hati aku ni... so hard to breathe when i'm crying too much.

If nenek aku pergi. Aku akan nangis melalak gila babi and will take months to recover from being mentally disturbed by her death. She used to be so active and noisy but now, there's just this silence. I cannot imagine being in her state, when you know you can die, anytime soon.

Astaghfiruallah.