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Monday, November 28, 2011


No one knows how fucking sad and hurt I feel now. I am shivering in sadness and drowned with tears.
They say crying is good to let it all out but I've been crying every night. So in which part of letting it all out does it helps? It is as complicated as it is.

You semalam dah gi club, dah minum, dah joget, dah cukup enjoy tanpa I why why why why why why why why why why why is it so hard, so fucking hard to even go home straight after a whole day of work? You are tired and sleepy right? Why can't you go home and atleast show a bit of effort that you do actually care about me? Why can't you do that? You told me how sorry you were but why bullshit when you don't even mean it? You are slacking with your classmates which you can actually do so during school time, lunchtime, after school or before school. You tak penat ke? You tak fikir ke on saturday you dah buat I macam mana abeh sunday pun you nak sama ah? Bila you akan realise???

Asal susah sangat untuk you bagi I EVEN A BIT OF SYMPATHY. Its not that i'm a controlling you but now I don't even restrict you from doing anything anymore. I waited waited waited waited waited and waited for your call. You minta I permission nak lepak but before even waiting for me to say anything, you already made up your mind to lepak, so what's the use of asking me???? I just wanted some time to talk on the phone with you. Salah ke? I nangis tapi you were happily munching away. Seriously tergamak you buat bodoh nan i. I tak tahu apa lagi nak cakap. I terlalu sedih and lemah. You taktahu apa perasaan I. You don't even make an effort to make things better.
Every night i will keep asking myself over and over again why things have to be this way? Why are you not answering my calls? Why are you ignoring me? Why is our relationship on the rocks? why why why why why why why Asal you dah berubah? Asal nan you ni? Asal you suka buat i nangis? Asal you tak boleh faham perasaan i?

you don't even want to make things better anymore.
somebody tell me, where do I stand now?