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Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I've been in a mess lately. A huge horrifying disgracing mess.
I have not been able to think straight. I don't even think I can keep it any longer.
Lasalle has been very tough on me. The deadlines, the project expectations and especially the number of work I need to complete. I literally sold my soul to Lasalle. No one is helping to make it any easier for me either. I've been rushing to everywhere, been doing a whole lot of daydreaming plus, drinking a huge amount of nescafe to force myself to stay awake to make ends meet. Sigh. But I struggle, for my future and benefits are bound to come.
Not now, no sooner but later.

My love life has not been that healthy either.
You should all know by now that things between me and Nasri didn't end well.
We didn't last. I am aware that people have been talking about my wrongdoings and all the shits I've done to make this relationship fail. But do you know how hard it has been for me? Getting lack of attention? Having the same arguments, over and over again?
I left him because I didn't feel that there's a need to hurt him further and things have gone beyond complicated and it sucks to be facing an innocent person like him with all the horrifying mistakes I've done. I just cannot take this into account anymore. But, if we're fated....
I'll see you soon Nasri. I promise you that if god did make us meet, I will know my limits.
" Kalau ada jodoh, kita tentu akan bertemu lagi. "

And to you C.M
Left him for you.
Left you for him.
Now I leave myself with nothing but regrets.
I swear I have never stopped thinking of how such a wonderful person like you...can actually turn out to be a lesson learnt for me?
SIGH. Can I at least have a day with you, at uss? To remind you of how we used to be?

-----

Shagged. Tired. Exhausted. Sleepy.
would be the best adjectives to describe the state I am in right now.
Apart from all these mess, I know that I've become way stronger.
Decided to do a wish list for this year, at least to sort out my mind..a bit....


Get over Year one straight to specialism course which is fine arts in painting!
Do some art shopping at art friend.
DSLR by april.
Driving License before Raya.
Zouk out again.
Another pair of dr.mart

For now. I'll hold on to the faith that things will get better.
I really need to pity this body of mine and head to sleep now.
Good night xx